I have received a number of comments and emails asking my why, if Navy is such a good guy, do I not go out with him?

There are a few reasons and I sort of feel obliged to explain myself, since I made him sound so nice and all. Not that he isn’t nice, but…

1. He is, after all, Tim’s brother. And in a slightly drunken conversation (on Tim’s part, rather; I was completely sober), Tim specifically asked me not to go out with his brother. Of course, then he told me that Navy really needed to get laid, and I wonder why he felt compelled to mention that to me.
2. Navy needs to get laid because, according to Tim, he hasn’t since his mad ex-wife left him two years ago and pretty much scarred him forever.
3. Yeah, the ex-wife. Navy is only 26 and he did not want to get divorced. He’s a happily-ever-after kind of guy. Since he didn’t get that with the girl he loved, he grows more bitter by the day. Maybe by the hour – I haven’t timed him yet.
4. He has a four-year old daughter who happens to be the most beautiful, sweet little girl in the world. I know her because she’s Tim’s niece and she’s wonderful and we have fun together but still… it could be a confusing thing to deal with, especially when her mom is apparently some sort of redneck psycho.
5. He bottles up rage and almost lets loose often, but never has. Yet.

But I do quite like him because:

1. We’ve always gotten along since we first met.
2. I can talk to him. Love and relationships, what we want versus what we have, the inability to trust someone enough to believe they won’t just leave you (E? I knew it was coming. Eventually. It always does, eventually. I’m a fatalist like that).
3. He’s not afraid to admit that he’s lonely, or that he’s afraid to find another person to be not-lonely with.
4. He doesn’t judge me for saying the same thing. Most guys don’t want to hear that a girl is lonely, that she wants to find The Right Guy and have The Loving Relationship that lasts forever and ever. That makes most guys want to run and hide in a fridge full of beer.
5. That’s very nice.
6. Military uniforms are HOT. He hasn’t been on active duty for a couple of years but still. Hot.

So maybe List #2 outnumbers List #1. But this isn’t that “Friends” episode. The crap part is that if we were dating, I think we might slowly self-destruct together. I bottle up rage too, and I let loose by breaking things. He’s terrified of falling for someone who will hurt him again. I’m terrified of falling for someone and then freaking out at the last minute and hurting him again. I just don’t think there can be a successful relationship between two people who are perhaps too scared to help each other make it through the rough times.

And family gatherings? Hah. It would be funny though, considering the fact that that first time I went to a family thing with Tim, his niece (not Navy’s daughter) climbed up into my lap and said “My mommy says you’re going to be my auntie!” First. Time. With. The Family.

Although it’s highly unlikely, this situation has the potential to be hugely ironic.