Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot, but I can’t think of more than a handful of people that I know in my age group who really looked forward to it this year.

A lot of us don’t like the annoyance and hassle of traveling, the pain of having to shop for ANYTHING between Thanksgiving and New Year’s (not just presents – even things like tampons and cheese can get you trampled by crazies in jingle-bell sweaters), and the stress of spending much more time than usual with family. Yay Baby Jesus and all, but Christmas has, in a lot of ways, become a pain in the ass.

Christmas has turned into Valentine’s Day, that great celebration of love and togetherness that makes even those of us with our schmoopy true loves want to vomit sometimes. My theory is that the pressure to be happy just kills it. You’re supposed to show the Holiday Spirit and Goodwill Toward All. It’s the rule in the same way that there’s a rule that you’re supposed to express your love in some exaggerated fashion on Valentine’s Day. And if you don’t do these things? Then you’re a mean one, Mister Grinch. You’re a nasty-wasty skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mister Gri-INCH!

Sorry. Got carried away with The Holiday Spirit.

Seriously, I think the reason that I feel like crap on Christmas is because I’m supposed to feel good.

Example:

E and I had an argument last night that I swear we wouldn’t have had if it had been March 24th instead of December 24th. He got off work at 11:30, was all stressed, and wanted to go have a beer or three and play a video game with his buddy, instead of coming over and staying with me as originally discussed. He invited me along but I was tired and wanted to stay home. Whatever, I told him, go chill with the friend and blow off some steam, no big deal, I’ll see you tomorrow morning for Christmas.

But when I hung up the phone, I began to rage. Wait a minute, I thought, I have to be alone on Christmas Eve so he can play Golden Tee? Nooo! It’s freaking Christmas Eve! I’m supposed to be with the person I love and sharing some sort of deep connection as the magic of Christmas washes over us!

I called him back, annoyed, and he didn’t understand why since I’d told him just moments before that I didn’t mind. And my dumb ass went on and on about how it’s Christmas and we should be together and crappity-crap-crap and I bet his eyebrows just went up into his hair. I had NO reason to give him shit like that because on any other day, I swear it wouldn’t have mattered.

But the Things We Are Supposed to Do get ingrained in our heads and when we don’t do them, we feel guilty. Angry. Sad. I’ve been without a boyfriend for many, many days in my life, and the days that I really wanted one were inevitably Christmas and Valentine’s Day – the days when you just know you SHOULD have someone to be with. You may not care on December 23rd or 26th, or on February 13th or 15th, but damn those days in between. Even when you DO have a significant other, you are supposed to do Something Special with that person and if you don’t, you’re a foul one, Mister Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders, you’ve got garlic in your soul, Mister Gri-INCH!

Again, sorry.

I was raised in a church and I remember being told that we should celebrate Jesus every day of the year, not just on his birthday. I asked then why we celebrated Jesus’ birthday on just one day, and was told that it was to bring people together in fellowship and love that day. Then they said we should have fellowship and love all year too.

All year? That explanation didn’t make much sense to me – if anything, it reinforced the secular meaning of Christmas because hello? SANTA only comes one day a year! THAT is what makes Christmas a special day!

E and I took a walk on the shore of Lake Michigan at Macatawa Bay last year on Christmas Day. Truly, the only thing that made that walk on the lake shore any different from any other day’s walk on the lake shore was the fact that he had a furry Santa hat on the whole time. We had a lovely day that happened to be December 25th.

Have I completely killed The Holiday Spirit by thinking we really should focus on Santa at Christmas, and not the love-and-fellowship message of Jesus?

Oh well. Call me a Grinch if you want to. I know the whole song.

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Photos from a walk that just happened to take place on Christmas Day