Snow!

We got our first stuck-to-the-ground snow of the season last night in St. Louis. It was such a beautiful ending to a crazy month – here’s hoping that December is much more chilled-out. Rimshot!

I just barely finished NaNoWriMo yesterday. My new medication was making me soooo sleeeepy that I’ve been napping every day after work and sleeping all through the night as well. I could not write at home, I had to go somewhere away from my bed and couch and sit up straight and eat something in order to work. To that end, I fell in love with The Gelateria on South Grand. Gelato, hot tea, coffee drinks, pastry, panini… and their lack of WiFi made me super productive since I wasn’t distracted by LOLz.

The meds have kicked in now though, and my body and brain are adjusting nicely. No more panic attacks, no more hiding under the covers because I don’t want to face the world.

I know that there are a lot of people who don’t believe in using drugs for depression, and a lot of people who don’t even believe that depression is a real disease that can require medical treatment.* My depression is a subset of Type II Bipolar Disorder. My doctor compares this to diabetes. It won’t kill me, but it requires a certain lifestyle in order to be healthy. I may be on medication for the rest of my life, she says – both mood stabilizers and antidepressants. And you wouldn’t deny a diabetic her insulin, would you? I don’t care if my meds are artificial or synthesized or if they come from a Bolivian coke farm. Gimme. I’m chemically unbalanced and actually meet the requirements to be considered disabled by the ADA.

Anyway.

When I wasn’t writing that 180-page brain barf of mine, I was spending a lot of time with E and our friends.  He really is racking up the points by taking such good care of me. I don’t know WHAT came over me one night, but I started ordering shots (we did one called “Your Mom”) and got pretty messed up last weekend. E woke up and saw me literally banging my head against the wall because I was in such pain. I was crying and pulling my own hair… it was like every hangover I’d ever had converged on me all at once. Worst. Pain. Ever. I think I’d rather have been in labor.

It really freaked him out, so he got up and walked down to the gas station in the cold to get me some Excedrin. He said that when he walked back in the house I was out of the bed, laying on the hardwood floor and didn’t respond the first time he shook me.  Eek. I don’t remember that part. Nor do I remember the fact that I had the dry heaves for an hour after we got home and that he laid down in the tub so he could stay with me in the bathroom while I slept on the floor for awhile before I could crawl into the bed. He said he was a bit drunk too and was afraid he’d drop me if he tried to carry me back to bed.

I got completely gorked on the Excedrin and my head only stopped hurting when it was pretty much numbed from the inside-out. E made me an ice pack with a Walgreens bag and ice cubes. I love that boy.

Maybe that night wasn’t such a good idea. Okay, it REALLY wasn’t a good idea and I am a moron. Healthy lifestyle, not so much. But some diabetics have a slice of cake now and then. I was doing so well at avoiding hard liquor! I guess this was just reinforcing the fact that I still can’t handle it. Back to beer for me.

And back to blog )

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* And if this is you, I bite my thumb at thee. Now shove off.