Comments on: This will solve all of my problems. And maybe make one. http://rebekahj81.com/2009/05/this-will-solve-all-of-my-problems-and-maybe-make-one/ and other mischief since 1981 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 02:06:06 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: A Super Girl http://rebekahj81.com/2009/05/this-will-solve-all-of-my-problems-and-maybe-make-one/comment-page-1/#comment-952 A Super Girl Sat, 16 May 2009 02:19:24 +0000 http://shesgotbaggage.net/?p=1456#comment-952 Girl, you know I'm not the right one to talk moving in together...it must be avoided at all costs if I want the parents to pay for any of my wedding some day :-) But, I do wonder if it's the idea of needing vs. wanting. Perhaps he felt you'd need to live together in Vegas so it seemed like a more manageable step, whereas in your hometown you don't need to you just want to, and that makes it a lot bigger of a deal for some reason. If that makes any sense. If it doesn't, I go with commenter 1, part a! Girl, you know I’m not the right one to talk moving in together…it must be avoided at all costs if I want the parents to pay for any of my wedding some day :-)

But, I do wonder if it’s the idea of needing vs. wanting. Perhaps he felt you’d need to live together in Vegas so it seemed like a more manageable step, whereas in your hometown you don’t need to you just want to, and that makes it a lot bigger of a deal for some reason. If that makes any sense. If it doesn’t, I go with commenter 1, part a!

]]> By: b&d friend http://rebekahj81.com/2009/05/this-will-solve-all-of-my-problems-and-maybe-make-one/comment-page-1/#comment-953 b&d friend Thu, 14 May 2009 12:44:44 +0000 http://shesgotbaggage.net/?p=1456#comment-953 Hmm... I don't know what to tell you. My husband and I moved in together before we were married or even engaged. For us living together was a stepping stone to get to engagement and marrage. He was not outwardly hesitant at all. He never expressed his concerns and whole heartedly moved in with me. He told me later that he was worried that things could fall apart, but he thought it was a gamble that he was willing to take. I had those feelings too. I think it is natural to have concerns (Will living together put a strain on our relationship? What if we split up and I have to move out at a moment's notice? Will I piss her off and then she boils my rabbit? What if she sees my dirty underwear or Juggs magazine...or both together?), but if you really want to live with someone, you bite the bullet and go for it. I don't know about E. I'd listen to Sean. Hmm… I don’t know what to tell you. My husband and I moved in together before we were married or even engaged. For us living together was a stepping stone to get to engagement and marrage. He was not outwardly hesitant at all. He never expressed his concerns and whole heartedly moved in with me. He told me later that he was worried that things could fall apart, but he thought it was a gamble that he was willing to take. I had those feelings too.

I think it is natural to have concerns (Will living together put a strain on our relationship? What if we split up and I have to move out at a moment’s notice? Will I piss her off and then she boils my rabbit? What if she sees my dirty underwear or Juggs magazine…or both together?), but if you really want to live with someone, you bite the bullet and go for it.

I don’t know about E. I’d listen to Sean.

]]> By: Sean http://rebekahj81.com/2009/05/this-will-solve-all-of-my-problems-and-maybe-make-one/comment-page-1/#comment-954 Sean Wed, 13 May 2009 19:42:03 +0000 http://shesgotbaggage.net/?p=1456#comment-954 i'm not e and can't speak for him. so, speaking for myself if i were acting that way it'd be one of two things. either: a) i felt vegas was a dream, not a reality. there are either so many variables that i think it has very little chance of actually happening and so this makes it safe to talk about, because it's just a dream. or i know myself well enough that i know if is an offer is made i'll either find a reason to sabotage it or leave without you. or i know that it'll take so long for it to happen that there's still time to not freak out about it. but moving in with you here, relatively now is big deal and i'm freaking. b) if, in the past i'd really felt not worthy of you this is tapping into it. if i get the vegas offer it'll be a huge step up, it'll check a bunch of blocks off on the list of things i have to do to be worthy and it's okay. but moving in here, now? still not worthy. i’m not e and can’t speak for him. so, speaking for myself if i were acting that way it’d be one of two things. either:

a) i felt vegas was a dream, not a reality. there are either so many variables that i think it has very little chance of actually happening and so this makes it safe to talk about, because it’s just a dream. or i know myself well enough that i know if is an offer is made i’ll either find a reason to sabotage it or leave without you. or i know that it’ll take so long for it to happen that there’s still time to not freak out about it. but moving in with you here, relatively now is big deal and i’m freaking.

b) if, in the past i’d really felt not worthy of you this is tapping into it. if i get the vegas offer it’ll be a huge step up, it’ll check a bunch of blocks off on the list of things i have to do to be worthy and it’s okay. but moving in here, now? still not worthy.

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